It's Cryin' Time Again

I just got back from the Happiest Place on Earth...back to life, back to reality... Awhile ago, I put my hat back in the ring to apply for Intermountain's nursing program. I also upped my ante, and applied for Salt Lake Community College's nursing program. I jumped through all their little hoops, crossed my t's, dotted my i's, and sat back to wait...and wait....and wait some more. SLCC's website stated that NO notifications concerning the nursing program would be given until August 30th, no sooner, no later. Imagine my surprise when a letter arrives in my mailbox in mid-August from the nursing program....and my subsequent disappointment when they tell me, "sorry, you're really great and all, but....NO. Sorry, you are not a winner, try again!!" All hope was not lost however, because I have applied for another program, a program that I have been turned down for twice already, and have been assured by several people that "it's your turn, you're gonna get it this time, definitely your year, there is NO way they will turn you down again!" I just had to wait for October for the inevitable nod that was FINALLY going to come my way....Guess what....I was absolutely stunned to find out, that once again...it's still a BIG FAT NO! I was beside myself with the absolute injustice of it all! Are you kidding me???? My two coworkers got in, who, between the two of them, equal my length of service with the company. One of the girls I had much better grades than, and I had tons more experience in the field than either one of them. But Intermountain still didn't want me. I was not content to go softly into that dark night...oh no, not me. I wanted a darn good reason as to why I was being rejected, yet again. I called the program director bright and early the next morning, and got voice mail, left a lengthy message...and waited. No call came by early afternoon, so I called again and was rewarded by a live person on the other end. I stated who I was and explained my plight. I asked where my shortcomings were, what ousted me from this opportunity that I have wanted so badly? She told me that they look at many things, but this year again, they were really concentrating on the performance evaluations. I stated that I had not had my evaluation this year, so how could I have gotten fair consideration? Cold dread hit me in that moment...and I asked "So...the evaluation that you are judging me on is from last year?" She confirmed my worst fears...."Yes, the most current evaluation we have is from 2011." OH NO!!!! I informed her that it was that evaluation that cost me the program last year...and let me tell you....last year was my worst year EVER!!! I nearly lost my job, got demoted, and written up...it just plain SUCKED! And this was what I was being judged on? Awesome... She spent several minutes giving me advice to be a better employee, and to really step it up, and to not give up, and try again...blah, blah, blah...It all fell on deaf ears. I was in total disbelief! I was totally and irrevocably being shafted, and there was nothing that anyone could do. All I can say, in hindsight, is that there is absolutely no way that Intermountain was looking at any other factors, it was all based on the employee performance evaluation..pure and simple, that was the ONLY thing they were looking at, and mine was not current, and not good....enough. It also seems, that no matter how badly I want this, or how hard I have worked to get here, it just isn't time. I don't know when it will be, but it isn't now. Back to the drawing board...Hey, I'm nothing, if not extremely persistent!